I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
