I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
