You work out of a Hotel?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
