I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
