I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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