I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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