So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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