I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
vagina is talking i cant
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
