dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
