We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
