OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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