so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
