i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
