I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
