Dual....:-)
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
