fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
why is half of my head shaved?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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