Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
