guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
A bitchslap is in order.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
