yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
