fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
