how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
