dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
