I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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