I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What a dumb baby whore.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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