A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
