Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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