This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
