Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
