Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
