Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
