I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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