Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
