I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
