i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
