You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
