wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
