It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
