I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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