I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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