in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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