If i come over, it means nothing
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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