It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
