are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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