I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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