We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
