Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
