You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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