Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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