Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
