you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
